If my blog were a very low maintenance pet I only had to feed once a week it’d be dead. Since October.

Embarrassing! Ain’t much to say here but:

  • Look, shit happens. Life happens.
  • Ya girl needs to get better at prioritizing.
  • I feel, like, a tiny bit bad—but not a lot bad, because that’s not gonna get either of us anywhere.
  • Don’t trust me with your pets.

So. I’m ready to start feeding that pet every week again so it’ll fatten itself up SO MUCH that its stomach will be like a fluffy little broom that sweep, sweep, sweeps up my floors wherever it goes. (I know. This metaphor is some weak shit.)

I’m back, bitch. To say hi, to say LOOK OUT WORLD, to tell you what’s coming to the site this year, to let you in on some of my resolutions, and to ask you about yours.

And to tell you that if there’s something you know you should have been doing regularly these past few months–but haven’t—that you should get back on top of your shit, too. Let’s go, girl or guy.

What to Expect at Maison with a Pen This Year

Who knows! I don’t. Hahahahahahhaha. I might be crying. I’m rusty as all hell, y’all. I have a few ideas. Let’s pray to god more will come soon.

Blog Posts

Let’s talk about:

What I’ve Read
Karen (my favorite writer ever) at Untamed Writing does these What I’ve Read posts that I think are just great. They’ll probably be once a quarter. (She just interviewed me for her blog. Isn’t that wonderful?)

nDash Review + other product/service reviews
For a few months I’ve been using nDash, a handy platform that matches writers to companies that need content. I’ve got some lovely things to say about them and some suggestions/things you should know before signing up as a company OR a writer, so we’re going to get all up in that shit sometime in the next few months. We’ll check out some other stuff, too.

Turning People Off On Purpose
Dave Chappelle’s comedy turns me on, but it turns a lot of people off. In fact, almost every comedian deals with this. We’re going to talk about why that’s a good thing. Humor in marketing will turn some people off, and that’s exactly what we want. Because the right people—the people who want to give you their money—will be turned on that much more. They’ll be like, “Oooooeee, I’m SO turned on! TAKE MY MONEY!”

…And a few more things on comedy in marketing
Can’t give you all my good stuff just yet, I’m afraid. It’s there, I swear. Just don’t ask what it is.

Other Things

A site revamp.
Or a bit of fine-tuning, at least. That portfolio section needs a face lift, good lord.

Marketing guides.
Where I show you how to design the kind of marketing plan that doesn’t make you want to hurl yourself into the sea. Spoiler alert: there’s humor involved.

Other than that, ya girl still focuses solely on her marvelous clients. (More info on becoming one here.)

And Just For Fun: Some of My Resolutions

Before we get into that: I’ve picked up a new hobby. Embroidery. Isn’t that fun?! Here’s some of mine:

All gifts for loved ones. I haven’t found my style yet, but I know it involves lots of neutrals + 1 pop of color, a fair amount of humor, and lots of swearing.

And here’s some beautiful, incredible pieces of art I’ve saved as inspiration (and I’m showing you because like me, you probably didn’t know how freakin’ sweet embroidery art can be):

I follow lots of amazing artists on Instagram, but these are my favorites, from top left: cinderandhoney, holaleon, _.baobap._, femme.broidery.

And I’m opening up my own Etsy shop sometime this year. I’ll let you guys know!

Here are some of my resolutions (or little summaries of them minus the metrics, at least), and TRUST ME—I LOVE hearing people’s resolutions because I think it’s so telling of their personalities. So you should definitely let me in on yours, too. So I can judge you. But mostly cheer you on.

1. Slow Times
Like instead of never wanting to watch that next X-File with my Dad (we’re watching it all the way through together) because, “I’ve got my own stuff to watch” and instead of going out and spending lots of money and instead of trying to figure out what else I can get done while hanging out with my family like embroidery, reading a book, or being on my phone—actually slowing down and doing one thing at a time. Really spending time with family. Really learning to enjoy myself at home so I can save up more. Doing one thing at a time, like some kick-ass-but-not-bald monk.

2. Early Mornings
Every morning. I’ve been on and off, but I’m ready to be 100% on. I’ve been using Kiwake for this and it rocks. Just trust me on this one.

3. Fast Runs
Speed workouts. I haven’t done them since I tried out for cross country in college. Why? Because they suck, but in a good way, so I’m going to get back to it this year.

4. Lots of Books
I loved doing my 2016 Goodreads Reading Challenge last year so I’ve decided to keep doing it and increase my goal by 1 book a year. That puts me at 31 books for 2017, an easy target since I’m planning on rereading the entire Harry Potter series and the entire Georgia Nicolson series, both for young adults.

5. Wizarding Adventures
Speaking of rereading the HP series. I’m also rewatching each movie as I finish each book. I decided to do this this year since I wanted to watch Fantastic Beasts/read The Cursed Child but felt so out of touch with HP (it’s been SO long) that I needed to start again. I’m rewarding myself with Fantastic Beasts when I finish. (Oh, and a huge part of this goal is actually visiting the Wizarding World again in Florida this year. Ya bitch ‘bout to be bathing in butterbeer.)

6. Good Things
Freshman year of college my best friend Katie and I each had a Good Things Jar. When something great happened, we’d write it down on a scrap of paper and put it in our jars. On New Year’s Eve, we read all our slips of paper and had a grand old time. We’re both doing it again this year, and I can’t freaking wait to see what’ll be in our jars this year.

I’ve combined my nerdery for resolutions/planning with my newfound nerdery for needlepoint and am making a big ole embroidery hoop featuring my resolutions. Yes, bitch, you heard right. I’ll show you when I’m finished 😉

Tell Me. Please. Tell Me.

What are YOUR resolutions?! Please please please tell me. And don’t be lame and say you don’t need to wait until the new year to make changes—ugh. My argument is that the new year is the perfect time to hit the reset button and get rid of all the harmful shit. To build better habits. And you can’t deny how fun it is to at least set these goals, even if you’ll only accomplish one of them.

Because hey, that’s better than nothing. Personally? If I only get to accomplish one of my goals this year, I hope to the high heavens it’s not speed workouts. I WILL kill myself.